Words We Need To Know: Koinonia

I John 1:6,7 & Ephesians 4:3

by John Roy

The anatomy of an exercise class goes something like this. The class consists of people; People who spend their days doing other things than exercise. There is not a professional athlete in the class. The instructor is as close as they come to a professional. These people do not normally spend time together. One is a teacher, another a banker, still another a stay at home parent. While they have not seen each other all day they spend time chitchatting with one another before class.

Yet why are they together? We might say to exercise but even this is misleading. Some have come because they are not happy with their physical appearance. Others have come because they need to get their heart rate up after a day of sitting at a desk. Another comes because heart disease runs in their family. Still others venture out because they want to develop muscle. So they are not together for any common goal. Well . . . maybe they are. Maybe they venture out dressed in their tights, sweats, shorts and t-shirts, wearing their Nike and Adidas shoes because they BELIEVE being together and exercising will make them better. Certainly we can exercise alone, can we not? We can exercise along with FitTV or we can take a run in our neighborhood, or we can lift weights in our home gym.  So why do we go to be with a group?  Maybe the peer pressure helps, maybe seeing other people in the same condition you are in helps, or maybe having someone ENCOURAGE us helps.

The fitness instructor borders on lying. “You’ve almost got it!” really means “Can you not see what I’m doing?” “Just a few more!” means the same thing as when a preacher says, “In conclusion.” “Y’all are doing great!” means, “I see you sweating, but I don’t even recognize the steps.” “Eight more!” means, “Eight more sets not eight more reps.” If the instructor told us the cold hard truth, we’d give up. It’s better for her to say, “We are going to do 8 more,” and actually do three sets of 8. Because if she told us we were going to lift our right leg to our left ear twenty-four times we’d walk out and give up.

Yet the fellow exercisers are also encouraging. People say to total strangers who are struggling, “You can make it, just 10 more minutes.” People who would not speak on the street will say, “Keep it up, you’re doing fine.” All in all it’s an encouraging hour, and you spend it doing something you BELIEVE will make you BETTER -- and people ENCOURAGE you while you are doing it. You leave better than when you arrived, you gave a little and you received a little, and you’re ready to go to bed, but first a nice hot shower would be smart! When we gather with the congregation it is for much the same reason. What drives us to these people and this place may be different for each person but in the end we gather because we BELIEVE BEING TOGETHER WITH THESE PEOPLE TO WORSHIP GOD MAKES US BETTER. This is our koinonia.

Koinonia is a Greek word often translated in the bible to mean, “communion” or “fellowship.” Sadly, our English words rob this word of its deeper meaning and for us distorts the nature of practicing faith. Our English word “communion” in interpreted more as a noun. An event. No bonding no relationship just single participants gathered in the same event. This is more in line with the word spectators. Our English word “fellowship” means at best a gathering where there is eating and at worst a Christian version of a party. People who only hold in common an appetite for fried chicken and banana pudding. Koinonia, however,  is so much deeper than this.

If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.[1]

Paul  also loved the language of fellowship.  He traveled all over the known world and treated every believer as an old friend. He began with a handshake and it might escalate to a chewing out but it would always end around a table. I suppose Paul tried to live what he preached, when he wrote in Ephesians

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.[2]

Relationships are fragile. Last week we read about Paul and Peter having a confrontation and that’s putting it mildly. Paul had issues with John Mark also. This was the young brash Paul later he became the ambassador of fellowship. As he aged, Paul saw the value of unity and strove to maintain relationships at all cost. Yet, as any adult knows relationships are a two-way street.  Thus fellowship is a dance. These words from Ephesians are the words of the older and wiser Paul not the brash young gun who pushes John Mark out of the picture.

Over the years Paul had learned the “unity of the spirit” was not preserved by doctrinal purity but by an intentional effort. This unity demands two parties.

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.[3]

Don’t let push come to shove, don’t let things get out of hand, as Barney would day “Nip it.”

An intentional effort to maintain fellowship demands forgiveness. Jesus told a parable about forgiveness and how it is the life blood to all relationships. Further Jesus describes what happens to those who forgive, work for unity, and maintain fellowship and what happens to those who do not.

"Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.' And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, 'Pay what you owe.' So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."[4]

The King intentionally and without strings attached forgave. He valued the fellowship with the servant enough to cast the debt away literally. The servant, however, intentionally would not forgive and thus he becomes spiritually constipated. You need to forgive but can’t and life becomes uncomfortable to say the least.

According to Erasmus “In the kingdom of the blind, the one eyed man is king.” Thus in the world of fallen, imperfect humanity the person who can forgive is king. I guess that’s what makes Jesus king.

Most of us are familiar with the marital relationship. When the husband forgets something, does something, or says something that he should not have he usually ends up sleeping with “Spot.” He makes a withdrawal from the relationship account. When he does something thoughtful, buys something romantic, or cleans out the cutters he makes a deposit into the relationship account. We have several relationship accounts around the city. There is a branch in our home, another at our place of work, and still another here at the church.

When we make deposits we promote peace and work toward the unity of the spirit. When we treat others with respect, forgive, offer affirmation, and encourage we make deposits and keep our home, church, or workplace a place of koinonia.

Yet when  we are critical, judgmental, don’t keep our word, or turn the relationship into a one way street built to service us then we withdraw money from the relationship bank. When we become overdrawn the unity of the spirit is threatened in our homes, work places, and churches.

Thus koinonia depends on our intentional effort in spite of the way we feel to forgive not judge, to affirm not criticize, to offer a hand and not excuses.

If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.[5]